This entry took a while for me to figure out because it involves complex relationships, tribe and healing on my part. As many of you know, I’ve been working on tribe building for years and each time we ran into issues with unhealed shadows sabotaging relationships and violating boundaries. But something goes far deeper than that, figuring out how to integrate masculine and feminine energy in a healthy way and within a tribe structure that goes beyond the intimacy of a relationship between two people.
I don’t trust easily, so it took me a long time, but I am now building a layer of trust with this tribe that makes tribe building easier. How was that done? Through Sacred Heart Circles. I’ve witnessed the power of emotional intimacy within the context of the school when a tribe manifested as if by magic. I’ve tried to get circles going when I was in Alberta, but unintegrated shadows and false ego sabotaged the process. This time around I found a group of people who are not only interested in living off grid and doing the work to decolonize, but are also interested in doing the shadow work as well, being vulnerable and working on healing.
Over the past few months we have held many circles and due to confidentiality, I will not disclose or discuss what we talked about. But what I can share is that healing and intimacy is growing at an astounding rate. It also helps that my own healing continues to unfold as well. My latest realization goes directly into tribe building as it addresses the role of divine masculine in a relationship but also in a tribe.
I recently realized that back in 2007 / 2008, I was about to confront an abusive individual within the tribe but was asked to stand down in order to maintain the friendship and status quo. This request emasculated me as I am responsible for the protection and safety of my family and tribe. There was fear involved in the request as the individual who made the request did not like confrontation and did not want to rock the boat. This set off a chain reaction as a result of me being unable to express divine masculine energy; mainly to protect and provide. I did not realize it at the time, but this triggered some deep and profound feelings that I was not consciously aware of and triggered me slipping into depression. As the relationship deteriorated and ended, it was replaced with others who were abusive as well. This went on till I left the land in February 2020. I experienced feelings of being trapped, violated, trespassed upon and complete frustration because I was not allowed to protect myself or others from the abuse.
Here, in this tribe, I make sure that I have the support of all involved for me to express my full sacred masculinity. As a result of this work, my strength and health has returned with a vengeance. We have build an extraordinary amount of infrastructure for the tribe in a very short period of time. My own build continues to progress beautifully as well. As we over come challenges, whether that be physical or even in our relationships, this tribe continues to grow stronger and stronger. We anchor that strength in performing ceremonies as well and acknowledging the gifts and contributions of each member of the tribe. Everyone has a place, is valued, has something to provide and is willing to receive support as well.
As we move into the summer build, the gardens are growing, food is being dehydrated and we fired up the smoke house for the first time a few days ago. The greenhouse plans are in progress and we secured our source of water, establishing water and food sovereignty. Shelter and energy sovereignty is the next priority for the summer. We have also secured waste sovereignty as we are now in a position where we can deal with all waste without hauling anything out to the dump or putting the burden on somebody else. Amazing accomplishments for just two months worth of work.
We will be opening ourselves up for visitors this summer and fall as we contemplate establishing a Spiritual Boot Camp where people can come and participate in our ceremonies, learn from the tribe and UNGRIP from the grid to start the decolonization process. If this interests you, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me and we will make arrangements for you to visit. We have campers here for people to stay in, but will ask that you bring your own food to contribute to meals. Given the temperature of politics out there, now is the time to come up to speed on what is required to navigate the coming times. Sign up in White Walking Feather’s School for the Pacem Arts and join our circles and decolonization classes. There is plenty of videos, audios, posts, blogs and documents to keep one busy for weeks or even months. Connect with our groups on Telegram so that we can connect and communicate with like minded individuals.
