We are in the summer schedule for classes, but the tyranny of the state continues to march forward quickly. We had discussions about whether our strategies will continue to apply given an environment of tyranny, violence and continued lock downs. We live in challenging times, but the conclusion is: we continue this work despite what is going on around us.
Recorded March 21, 2021
This entry took a while for me to figure out because it involves complex relationships, tribe and healing on my part. As many of you know, I’ve been working on tribe building for years and each time we ran into issues with unhealed shadows sabotaging relationships and violating boundaries. But something goes far deeper than that, figuring out how to integrate masculine and feminine energy in a healthy way and within a tribe structure that goes beyond the intimacy of a relationship between two people.
I don’t trust easily, so it took me a long time, but I am now building a layer of trust with this tribe that makes tribe building easier. How was that done? Through Sacred Heart Circles. I’ve witnessed the power of emotional intimacy within the context of the school when a tribe manifested as if by magic. I’ve tried to get circles going when I was in Alberta, but unintegrated shadows and false ego sabotaged the process. This time around I found a group of people who are not only interested in living off grid and doing the work to decolonize, but are also interested in doing the shadow work as well, being vulnerable and working on healing.
Over the past few months we have held many circles and due to confidentiality, I will not disclose or discuss what we talked about. But what I can share is that healing and intimacy is growing at an astounding rate. It also helps that my own healing continues to unfold as well. My latest realization goes directly into tribe building as it addresses the role of divine masculine in a relationship but also in a tribe.
I recently realized that back in 2007 / 2008, I was about to confront an abusive individual within the tribe but was asked to stand down in order to maintain the friendship and status quo. This request emasculated me as I am responsible for the protection and safety of my family and tribe. There was fear involved in the request as the individual who made the request did not like confrontation and did not want to rock the boat. This set off a chain reaction as a result of me being unable to express divine masculine energy; mainly to protect and provide. I did not realize it at the time, but this triggered some deep and profound feelings that I was not consciously aware of and triggered me slipping into depression. As the relationship deteriorated and ended, it was replaced with others who were abusive as well. This went on till I left the land in February 2020. I experienced feelings of being trapped, violated, trespassed upon and complete frustration because I was not allowed to protect myself or others from the abuse.
Here, in this tribe, I make sure that I have the support of all involved for me to express my full sacred masculinity. As a result of this work, my strength and health has returned with a vengeance. We have build an extraordinary amount of infrastructure for the tribe in a very short period of time. My own build continues to progress beautifully as well. As we over come challenges, whether that be physical or even in our relationships, this tribe continues to grow stronger and stronger. We anchor that strength in performing ceremonies as well and acknowledging the gifts and contributions of each member of the tribe. Everyone has a place, is valued, has something to provide and is willing to receive support as well.
As we move into the summer build, the gardens are growing, food is being dehydrated and we fired up the smoke house for the first time a few days ago. The greenhouse plans are in progress and we secured our source of water, establishing water and food sovereignty. Shelter and energy sovereignty is the next priority for the summer. We have also secured waste sovereignty as we are now in a position where we can deal with all waste without hauling anything out to the dump or putting the burden on somebody else. Amazing accomplishments for just two months worth of work.
We will be opening ourselves up for visitors this summer and fall as we contemplate establishing a Spiritual Boot Camp where people can come and participate in our ceremonies, learn from the tribe and UNGRIP from the grid to start the decolonization process. If this interests you, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me and we will make arrangements for you to visit. We have campers here for people to stay in, but will ask that you bring your own food to contribute to meals. Given the temperature of politics out there, now is the time to come up to speed on what is required to navigate the coming times. Sign up in White Walking Feather’s School for the Pacem Arts and join our circles and decolonization classes. There is plenty of videos, audios, posts, blogs and documents to keep one busy for weeks or even months. Connect with our groups on Telegram so that we can connect and communicate with like minded individuals.
With the new approach we are taking with the website, having a list that people can access will help with those who want to barter with or gift to me or the tribe. So I’ve put together this list and I’ll update when I can so that people have an idea of what we need as we continue working on rebuilding tribe and sharing the journey with all those who are interested. Please contact me before sending anything to make sure we don’t end up with duplicates. I’m also going to keep items that we have on the bottom of the list so that if people want to make a similar leap of faith, you will know what tools we used to make it work. Thank you to everyone who is helping with this journey.
Consumables – Always a need
Needed for construction to prepare for winter (temp shelter)
Needed for the house
Greenhouse build
Misc
Items already acquired or built
Taking a step like this does require being aware of the natural ebbs and flows of Mother Earth. I am fortunate to land here when there was still snow on the ground. The timing is beautiful as I can then make plans for spring and it is easy to get back into the swing of the seasons. My challenge involved figuring out how and where to make a garden. I decided to put my garden on both sides of the path that runs between the house and the medicine wheel. I also took the leaves and peat moss that I collected while working on the house and medicine wheel and dumped it on the cleared spot for the garden. I instantly had about four inches of material for my garden. I needed trees for the house and sunlight for the garden, so I cleared trees south of the garden to let the sunshine in. Those trees will be a part of my house.
The laborious work brought out some more healing for me and reminded me of when we were pounding tires in 2007 & 2008. When we work our bodies, they can no longer hold onto all the “stuff” we bury. I noticed that when I first started training in the martial arts as well. I remember sitting in class, weeping uncontrollably as the emotions come flooding out of me. It took months to work all of that out so that I could make room for the actual training. For me, the last month has been the same. Working on my site brought out a lot of emotions and I worked hard to process them.
While my garden plot starts to develop, I am starting to feel good about the process. The strawberries are doing well and I’ve now planted tobacco, potatoes (200 hills), onions and a single tomato plant. I still have plans to put much more in, but I need to expand it to fit more in. But it does show that people can grow gardens. We may have to do gorilla gardening for a while, but it can be done.
Work with the tribe continues to grow. We are now discussing building a greenhouse based on the one that we built years ago. However, there will be some changes to accommodate the learning process we went through. Root cellar, incinerator and smoke house are also on the list of things to build this summer. I am noticing that we are doing in a single season, what took us 10+ years to do. I’m confident that these projects will help everyone as I have lots of experience with them already.
I have also continued working on my relationships with everyone here, but especially with Tammy. She has held space for me to heal for years, but in the last month it has been particularly important. Our ability to share openly is critical and recently I had another healing journey which helped solidify our relationship. It is not one of romance, but rather brother and sister working together with respect, honour, peace and freedom. Many of my needs are being met now, which has developed a space of peace, tranquility and freedom. I am finding that my healing is progressing very quickly as a result.
My need for companionship, touch and intimacy is still not being met, but I can confidently say that many of my other needs are. If I was doing this all by myself, it would have been ten fold more difficult. Being as sick as I was, I suspect I would not have made it. This journey from being a feudal serf, through hyper individualism to then settle down within the healthy constructs of a tribe is a daunting but extremely rewarding journey. I can confidently say that I am WELL on my way to good health; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually!
We are also exploring the idea of welcoming people to this land to learn and heal. Through apprenticeship, healing retreats and other programs, this tribe can help and be of service to those who want to learn and embrace these ideals. We are working hard to restore the spirit of our ancient white tribes from Europe while we honour the spirit of the treaties signed years ago with our brothers and sisters ancestors. That spirit is about living off the land, being stewards of the land, protecting the land, being one with the land and ensuring ALL life prosper. We are having discussions about building our own lodge too. Powerful medicine unfolding when we start asking our ancestors to help us remember the old songs and ceremonies. But we must also build new ceremonies as the decolonization process is new. Very few people have gone through the decolonization process, so we now build ceremonies and protocols to help with the healing and reconciliation journey that is required.
As the world is only now starting to acknowledge the genocide associated with the Residential Schools, this tribe continues to dive deeper into the spiritual journey, power and authority of ancient custom and usage. It is this foundation upon which I will continue to work to free the land from the demesne of the crown. To me, planting the garden, creating the medicine wheel and starting the house is a critical aspect of this work. Spirit asked me to do this in a certain order, so that is what I did. I now realize how important the medicine wheel and garden is as I continue my efforts to free the land and my people from the grips of feudalism and colonization.
I am also grateful that the website is now live and active. I will be working on a list of materials that I will need. I pray it helps people who want to support the work that we are doing here. Some are materials that I need, some are things the tribe is looking for. All I ask is that people check in with me so that we don’t end up with duplicates.
Mean while, the snake spirit came to visit me at my garden. The spirit of the snake represents healing, transformations and connection to primal, life force energy. Then a bear walked right in front of my door last night. The spirit of the bear also represents healing, which I find is not a coincidence at all. But it also represents strong grounding forces, strength, confidence and leadership against adversaries. I will try to talk to the bear the next time he visits. This is the second visit he has paid me in the last few weeks. I will ask for friendship and connection so that I can explore what a relationship with the bear would look like as an equal among the trees and northern boreal forest.
Meanwhile, we prepare for the solar eclipse on the 10th as the tribe goes into special ceremony. Here, the eclipse hits 90% of totality at 5:46am, so we will be up early to connect with the powerful energy of the event. A pin hole camera and welders mask will help the kids take a look at what is going on in the sky above. Powerful medicine.
White Walking Feather lives in a self sufficient manner and requires very little money for his own needs, however, bringing you his journey and explorations at this crucial time in history requires technology which is made possible by your generosity.
White Walking Feather (aka rob in the page family) is an individual whom dedicates his time towards writing books, blogging, teaching and facilitating healing circles while doing his best to live off grid and explore his relationship with Mother Earth. Some people have also called him a knowledge keeper and an elder.
For the first 30+ years of his life, he struggled with depression, addictions and multiple suicide attempts. Despite numerous visits to psychiatric wards in the hospital, it was not until he hit rock bottom that he decided to surrender and try a new approach to life. It is this surrender that helped him heal, learn new communication skills and completely change his approach at life.
These new skills turned his life around and he found success in his IT career, managing projects and dedicating himself to training in the art of Tae Kwon Do where he reached 3rd Dan Black belt and ran his own school for a couple years. As a result of his healing journey, he realized in 2005 that his relationship with the state and other corporate entities was not healthy as they were extremely abusive and violent. This started him down a spiritual path to reconnect with Creator and Mother Earth. In 2007 he moved off grid with his family where they build earthships, gardens, a greenhouse and took every measure they could to be free, independent and healthy.
On April 15, 2008 he declared peace and refused to provide service to the Queen and her lords that control her feudal empire. Since then, he has been invited to speak at public events, online radio shows and was featured in Ben Steward’s third film UNGRIP. He has written a book, released in 2015 and is currently in the middle of writing his second one. For years he has also shared his thoughts freely on social media and blogs. In late 2019 he decided to open up a school as he recognized there are no well rounded training methods to help people navigate the complex web of lies and deceit that surrounds modern social constructs. As a result, the Pacem Arts was created with the intent to utilize training methods learned through the Martial Arts but dedicated to the Pacem Arts instead.
