White Walking Feather rob in the pagé family

One Flesh between sacred Masculine & Feminine

Posted on by White Walking Feather

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” – Gen 2:24

I’ve found in my life that intimacy exists in a wide variety of forms and can dive down into profoundly deep levels of our being. I’ve been exploring this over the past number of years and asking a lot of questions. Many mysteries remain, but I am confident that they will be revealed in time. What I’m starting to see though, is that exploring intimacy has a profound outcome that I did not comprehend before.

I’m going to use this medicine wheel to attempt to explain what I’m finding during this journey of self exploration and asking penetrating questions with those that are open to exploring this topic. If somebody asked me 10 years ago to define intimacy, my response would most likely have been sex. I grew up in an environment heavily influence with multi-media campaigns that used images of women to sell, sell, sell. The objectification of the female body was used to corrupt and mask what true intimacy was. If I took a look at the medicine wheel, intimacy was defined with a small part of the black / divine feminine part of the wheel.

A few years ago I realized how woefully ignorant I was. The emotional part of the wheel helps remind us that there are different levels of intimacy here too. I’ve also talked about intellectual and spiritual intimacy in the past to round out the four quadrants of the medicine wheel. However, there is more. If we meet somebody new, they approach us from outside of the wheel. There is little to no intimacy as both are strangers. The trick is to see who will take a risk to be vulnerable first and share something intimate to break the ice and draw them closer, into the medicine wheel. Physical intimacy may involve a hand shake or a quick hug. Mental intimacy may be generated through sharing of ideas that both resonate with. Perhaps they have a mutual experience in meditation or prayer circles that allows them to start to explore their relationship. What ever the initial interaction is, it allows for an invitation for each to step into the circle at various points around the perimeter.

The next step, if both are able and willing, is to increase the level of intimacy. We do this through healing circles, work, play, ceremonies and other activities. This type of relationship building requires that both individuals spend time and surrender some vulnerability in order to make that deeper connection with one another. At this point it does not matter if they are male or female as we are still at the platonic stage of the relationship, but exploring vulnerability through all four quadrants of the circle. Hugs may last for 30 seconds to several minutes, holding hands, massage, safe touching, sharing pain, fears and trauma for healing, discussing profound ideas for self improvement and peace, doing sweat lodges, ceremonies, prayers or other activities to reconnect to Creator, Mother Earth, self and each other. When we reach this level of intimacy, we connect as friends, tribe members and perhaps even family.

Notice that we have explored multiple levels of intimacy with multiple and diverse types without even reaching sex yet? Is it possible that many of us are actually intimacy deprived because we don’t acknowledge what intimacy is or how to get those needs met in a safe and loving way? I’ve known for a while that the healing work we do through the Pacem Arts has a specific purpose. When we take a leap of faith to be vulnerable enough to share our pain, trauma and fears, we not only start to heal, but we also built intimacy with the others that are holding space, doing it all at the same time.

But there is a limit to the amount of healing and platonic work that can be done with people in the circle. It is critical that we do this work first as the next phase will be sabotaged by triggers and unhealed shadows. This next phase requires an intimate partner, one who is doing his / her own work, willing to be completely vulnerable and feels safe going to a level of intimacy that few manage to reach. While sex is a part of this level of intimacy, there is much more to it and this is where the passage comes in that I quoted above.

This level of intimacy requires a level of conscious awareness in masculine and feminine energy, how to explore the union of that energy, how that energy flows through our bodies and the ability to be completely vulnerable so that we can surrender to that energy flow. Shadows, trauma, triggers, fear and other barriers will sabotage and prevent this level of connection from being obtained. It requires conscious effort to ensure that there is profound intimacy on all levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. It may also require a lot of practice to reach this level of surrendered vulnerable intimacy. I suspect that when we reach this level, we become one and are introduced to Creator energy. This is spoken about as one flesh in scripture, which is very different than the lust or infatuation many feel when they get married. How many people go through profound healing work so that they are able and willing to meet their partner at such a profound and vulnerable state within their marriage? How many of us withdraw out of fear, refuse to talk due to pain, ignore triggers to not rock the boat? How many of us has been emasculated, dehumanized, suppressed, bullied or even violated, yet willing to be profoundly vulnerable in our relationships? While scripture speaks of ‘one flesh’ I question how many of us actually attain that level of intimacy in our relationships. To reach this level requires a tremendous amount of healing and integrity so that we can hold the charge that comes when we connect the sacred masculine with the sacred feminine. This powerful union generates tremendous power and will transform the two into something greater than the sum of the parts. It takes great strength and integrity on both sides to hold this charge.

I suspect that this work, when done in a healthy way, will trigger an evolutionary event that will transcend the two individuals involved. No man may break that apart as that transcendence invokes Spiritual Law and draws us into Heaven on Earth.

But what happens when we are in sexual relationships or marriages that has not done this work? The level of intimacy wains and we start to drift farther and farther away from the center of the medicine wheel. The one flesh dies and it is this point where the vows we utters when we get married comes to play. Many people said they are committed until death. I suggest that the death does not necessarily mean the passing of our vessel, but the death of the one flesh, the attempt to create the one body through the union.

Why do people get divorced or break up? The failure is usually due to a failure to maintain the profoundly vulnerable level of intimacy between the two. Pain, hurt feelings or other events bring up walls between the two and they start to drift from the middle of the wheel. It takes great effort to come back to the center in a balanced and centered way to restore the intimacy. But when we do, the one flesh lives and the union remains strong. The love deepens and our connection to Creator, spirit, Mother Earth, each other and self continues to grow and flourish. Life is born where we can truly LIVE and experience this existence together, as one.

But if the one flesh dies and cannot be resurrected due to the inability or unwillingness of one or both individuals, the union between the two ends, the level of intimacy deteriorates to the point where they are again strangers, seeing each other from outside of their respective circles. It is possible to reconcile those relationships, but it requires a monumental amount of time, effort, work and vulnerability to rebuild the trust lost through the breakdown.

There is no shame or guilt in this journey. Social stigma and dogma often associates guilt and shame to those who fail in their intimate relationships or marriages. The wars that manifest afterwards does not help. I’ve witnessed partners drifting apart due to intellectual differences, such as whether to remain a feudal serf or work towards freedom. Over the years I’ve seen many relationship fail as a result of a lack of intellectual intimacy caused by polarized ideas.

I can attest to these ideas as it was indeed pain and a withdraw of intimacy that caused the gap in my past relationships, whether that be with my ex-wife or others. Some of them were violent, so I set boundaries to cut them out of my life. Others were done peacefully and I still talk to them, share some level of intimacy and work to stay connected the best I can. I include my ex-wife in that last group. I still love her dearly, I forgive her, I ask for forgiveness and I miss her deeply. I also acknowledge the barriers that killed our attempt to reach one flesh. I think we did reach it on several occasions but unhealed trauma sabotaged the attempt. We are both healing and I’m confident that if either of us finds a willing and healthy partner, that it can be obtained.

The challenge with all death is that it hurts, a lot. There is a lot of pain associated with the death of the one flesh, marriage or even close intimate friends. The closer we get to the middle of the circle, the more vulnerable we surrender to be, the more pain there is when it dies. A healthy way to deal with that pain is to mourn the loss using healthy protocols and ceremonies. It helps us move through that pain rather than stuffing it and lashing out with war, venom and anger. Forgiveness is a powerful tool and I’ve used it very successfully in the past to help me make those transitions easier. This then helps me take the risks to surrender with complete vulnerability because I know deep down the huge benefits associated with taking that leap of faith. I’m not afraid of the pain any more. I also suspect that if we can successfully navigate this journey to the center of the medicine wheel and successfully birth and nurture a one flesh body to maturity with an intimate partner, there will be no more pain.

This is what I am looking for in my life. This is the work that I’m prepared to do with divine feminine who is able and willing to walk this path with me. The goal is to reach the middle of that medicine wheel, embrace Christ Level of Consciousness, the I AM and join with divine feminine to birth a new being, one flesh, manifested out of hard work, complete vulnerability, trust, faith, love and peace.

Does this resonate with you? Do you agree? Disagree? Perhaps it is worthy of discussion when I re-start the Decolonization Classes in a few weeks. Thoughts to ponder as summer wains and we enter into the fall harvest in preparation for winter.

White Walking Feather rob in the pagé family

Importance of Integrity

Posted on by White Walking Feather

Over the last few months I’ve been exploring the idea that there is a whole other level that we can explore within all our relationships. I’ve know for a while that intimacy within relationships is complex as it comes in many forms and degrees. We are bombarded with images and brainwashing techniques from marketing firms that sex equates to intimacy. While sex is one form of intimacy, it is not the only one as there are many others that got ignored or even buried during the colonization process.

To decolonize ourselves, I’m finding that it is critical that we dig up these other forms of intimacy and bring balance to them. From a high and basic level, there are four forms of intimacy which covers the four bodies; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Each of these have different levels or degrees of intimacy depending on the closeness of ones relationship with another.

Physical Intimacy is one that most of us can relate to as it is the one that has received the majority of our time and focus over the years. It is also the most corrupted as lust, rape, slavery and other behaviours desecrated the spirit of healthy physical intimacy. While most people would relate this to sex, I think we should start on the other end: touch!

When we were first born, touch becomes a critical need that we have in order to feel connected, loved, nourished and fulfilled. However, social pressures and other traumas often result in a lack of touch and physical intimacy needs not being met. I can testify to this one personally. We are, after all, social beings and touch is a powerful social act to express intimacy between two or more people. With complete strangers a hand shake may be all that is required. For acquaintances a simple hug may accomplish an acceptable and nourishing level of intimacy. Good friends may extend that hug to 20-30 seconds, rub shoulders, feet or engage in grooming activities. Really good friends and family often explore intimacy at the level of kissing while lovers move deeper into the physical intimacy with petting, massage, nakedness, physical vulnerability and sex.

One of the most common errors comes when we ignore the other forms of intimacy and depend on just physical intimacy to define our relationships. Men often struggle in this area as we have been brainwashed through social conditioning, media, porn and other forms to think that this is intimacy. If this is how we define intimacy then we are missing out on a whole new world and that would also explain why people struggle with relationships. To remedy this, it is important that we identify and work on the other forms of intimacy and bring balance to this whole aspect of relationships.

Emotional Intimacy can be a challenge, especially when trauma, shame, guilt and other manipulations are used to intimidate or condition people to avoid or ignore feelings. Emotional Intimacy can be explored when each individual takes a leap of faith and becomes vulnerable enough to share their feelings, shadows and struggles in life. It is more than that, but due to colonization, violence, trauma and other social or environmental conditions, this is typically a good place to start. By doing the shadow work, each individual can find a place where the shadows no longer trigger violent or abusive responses, but instead manifests healthy self exploration, questions and healthy space to further the work. This also involves different levels of intimacy in that total strangers can share a little bit of vulnerability to remain safe while still sharing and building connect. Friends or tribe members may share far more deeply so that they can hold space for one another to work through painful memories or experiences. Lovers have the ability to take this to the next level as the amount of trust and vulnerability to have deep intimate relationships is built through progressively showing vulnerability on deeper and deeper levels. When we get to a point where we feel safe to be completely vulnerable, no matter the topic or scenario, we find a profound level of emotional intimacy. What I’ve learned is that deep emotional intimacy can be reached between men and women without sex. Guys, this is the area that the majority of the ladies use to explore and evaluate health and trust in their relationships. Learning this has changed my life!

In the last few months I’ve started to realize that there are two others that are often ignored. Mental intimacy comes when we meet people who are able and willing to be vulnerable in the exploration of ideas. While the intellect has been high jacked by formalized learning institutions like universities, social media and other tools have opened up this area so that we can all participate. The problem is that false ego often gets in the way to sabotage the exchange. When we do the work to heal our shadows, we can then start to be vulnerable when challenging the ideas that we embrace in our lives. As Steven Covey said, we often spend time formulating a response to the other individual rather than actually listening to what they are saying. The act of critical thinking and active listening takes a lot of hard work and a level of vulnerability in order to reflect upon and contemplate ideas being shared by others. This too has multiple levels depending on how close or intimate the relationship is between those having these discussions.

The one area I found to be woefully neglected is spiritual intimacy. Organized religion has actively preempted this area and did so on purpose. The last thing the powerful oligarchs want is people being spiritually active and intimate with one another and with Mother Earth. Through my exploration of restoring my ancestral tribes and my relationship with Creator, I’ve found spiritual intimacy to be a core component. This is where I’m finding ceremony, meditation, prayer and other modalities to be powerful tools to help me build a level of intimacy with others but also with my environment, Mother Earth and Creator directly. It is very difficult to have a profound intimate relationship when third parties are providing commentary and responsible for the interpretation of spirit. This ends up being a profoundly personal and intimate aspect of relationships as acknowledging that everything is spirit makes our very actions and behaviours critical to ensure the ripples of thought, action and inaction moves forward gently and without harm.

This requires a profound level of consciousness in order to navigate these levels of intimacy. I’ve also realized that holding space in sacred heart circles can provide an amazing level of intimacy and healing, but it requires an intimate partner to move deeper into the healing. The goal is to heal and be vulnerable to the point where profound intimacy is obtained without shadows or triggers sabotaging the experience. Imagine being with someone and exploring physical, emotional, mental and spiritual intimacy all at the same time or within a span of a few hours or even within the full expression of the relationship through the years?

This is where integrity comes in. One big lesson I learned last night is that this requires a profound level of integrity in order to reach this level of intimacy and healing. Integrity requires a strong moral and ethical foundation to build trust strong enough for both masculine and feminine to completely surrender to the experience. How can either of them do that if they are distracted by multiple intimate relationships, engaged in violent behaviours, whether covert or overtly done, whether consciously or unconsciously expressed? When two people do their work, clean up their lives and walk a path of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual integrity, I believe we will start to tap into a level of intimacy that would transform and meld the two energies into one. When divine masculine and divine feminine have the integrity to reach this level of intimacy, the energy between the two start to flow stronger and stronger. That is when magic starts to happen and I am also wondering if that is when the Christ Consciousness starts to manifest here on Earth. I wonder if that is how we can start creating Heaven on Earth and is why spirit kept telling me that I cannot do this by myself. It is time that the masculine and feminine heal and step into a level of integrity and vulnerability so that they can navigate the changes that would come when this transformation event manifests. I wonder if that is what the powers that be are trying to ensure does not happen.

Either way, this is where I’m headed and am profoundly interested in exploring. As I work through these ideas, I’m finding new and better ways of explaining it so that the ideas can be shared with others. With integrity, we can step forward into this new world. The wonderful thing about it, is that the integrity is what may actually trigger the flow of energy and manifestation. We don’t need others or ourselves to pass judgment upon us, it is a vibration that is obtained by working on our healing so that we can hold the charge of integrity. When masculine and feminine obtain that level of integrity, magic will happen and it will exceed that which Christ himself was able to demonstrate. This is what I want in my life and that means it is completely up to me to walk my path with a Christ level of Consciousness but also a Christ level of integrity!

White Walking Feather rob in the pagé family

The Healing Dance between Masculine and Feminine

Posted on by White Walking Feather

I’ve been contemplating a lot about intimacy and the relationship between the masculine and feminine energies. Recently the men gathered together and we created a simple little ceremony to welcome the women during the last new moon ceremony. What I witnessed was beautiful, powerful and amazing. The ladies became animated, beaming and their movements turned fluid. It had a profound impact on the relationship between the men and women.

I’ve been exploring what intimacy actually is, but this experience has taken me on a whole new level of reflection. A few years ago I discovered that there is a big difference between emotional and physical intimacy. For most of my life I associated both as being one and the same. The problem is that when a woman was looking for emotional intimacy, I struggled because I associated that to sex and that caused all kinds of problems for me. I’m grateful that I was able to overcome that glaring oversight as I now realize that there is a profound difference between the two.

What I see now is that there are multiple kinds of intimacy with a wide range of levels. If we visit the medicine wheel, we are reminded of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. When speaking of physical intimacy, most people turn to sex, kisses or hugs. What I want to propose is that this goes far beyond these simple constructs. If we acknowledge that each body has a form of intimacy, then that compels a deeper examination of each and the interaction between them from all those different levels. The first step is to acknowledge that there are, in fact, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual intimacy needs that need to be met within each of us. Those types of intimacy are very different from one another, yet interact in amazing ways. Physical intimacy starts from birth and involves being held, touched and coddled. This need is equal or even grater than actual sustenance for the baby and this carries forward to be true for our entire lives. Emotional intimacy is something that develops over time as it require our ability to be vulnerable and share feelings with others. Trauma often makes the development of this level of intimacy difficult, but when healed, it can be profound. Mental intimacy is another that needs to be developed and involves the sharing of ideas, brainstorming and other synergistic exercises that foster cooperation and collaboration, equating to mental intimacy. Spiritual intimacy is when we start to explore our own spirituality and find common ground with others and share that level of intimacy in our ceremonies, prayers and beliefs.

The interaction of these different types of intimacy makes for a complex web to explore in all our relationships. It is this depth and diversity that makes life interesting to explore. It is also a core part of the decolonization process as it changes the very foundations of how we interact with one another.

When exploring my relationships, I acknowledge that the level of intimacy changes how vulnerable I will be and there are specific boundaries associated with each. For example, my interaction with a lover is very different than with a tribe member, friend, acquaintance or a stranger. Each one of these can provide a form of intimacy, but there are limits on each depending on trust and ability to reciprocate intimacy in a healthy way.

I may hug a stranger, but I’m not going to kiss them or have sex. A hug with a stranger is also very different than a hug from a friend or a lover. Intimacy needs require engaging in relationships with other individuals. I currently don’t know of any way to have intimacy needs met in isolation. After all, we are social beings and that requires that our needs be met by others in our circles AND that we meet the needs of others within those circles as well.

Finding a way to balance all of these intimacy needs could go a long way towards healing as well. Healing ourselves so that we don’t engage in violent behaviours must be a journey done within. People can hold space for the healing, but it is far too abusive to do this work while in intimate relationships. However, the healing journey stalls when we do that original shadow work as the next phase requires intimate relationships to finish that process.

It is in this light that I explore the dance between the masculine and feminine. Masculine energy is an energy that flows in and out. Feminine energy flows between being open and close. The interesting dynamic is that Masculine energy is also responsible for holding the container as feminine energy is very fluid. These energies can exist within a single individual, but also be a beautiful dynamic between two people.

When the masculine energy does his work properly, he establishes the safe container for the divine feminine. Much like what we did during the camp last week. The result is automatic within a healthy feminine. She feels safe to then express her feminine energy which then starts to be fluid and flow within the contain. She opens up like a flower to express her full beauty and feminine energy. The masculine energy must honour this process and her sovereignty. If everything is done in a healthy and respectful way, she will invite him ‘in’. With consent, he can then penetrate the feminine energy and make a profoundly intimate connection where the two energies begin to flow through each other and create absolute magic. While there are physical sexual references here, this also involves the other forms of intimacy too on an emotional, mental and spiritual level.

For intimate partners, I suspect that the goal is to find a balance between all four levels of intimacy. If the masculine can create a container for all four and feminine feels safe, then all four levels of intimacy are involved and profound healing can take place for both of them. For tribe members and friends, there may be limits to the level of intimacy, but the goal is similar. Sex and kissing may be off limits, but hugs, sacred circles and ceremonies are still a foundational goal for building trusting and deeply intimate relationships within a tribe.

For a stranger we may feel comfortable hugging them, having intellectual conversations about politics, economics, social issues, etc. For a friend or tribe member, the level of intimacy may involve being vulnerable by sharing feelings, fears and shadows while also covering deeper intellectual topics, performing ceremonies and hugging or dancing.

But for an intimate couple, the goal is to be ‘all in’ on all levels. The couple can engage on all those other levels, but their dance is very different. Instead of hugging for 10 seconds or dancing for a few minutes, their relationship becomes very intimate, to the point of melding the two energies together. They may start out in ceremony as their beliefs are common between the two. They agree on many of the same principles that govern how they live their lives. They have found a way to be vulnerable with one another in regards to how they are feeling and the traumas that they are working on healing. When all three of these intimacy needs have been met, the physical intimacy transforms. Their dance is no longer just a dance, but a way of making love to one another, exploring each other’s bodies through movement and music. As they learn how to move together, caress and kiss, the level of intimacy increases beyond acquaintance, beyond friendship. Making love to one another can take hours and is not just a physical act of sex. It requires profound intimacy on all four levels to start engaging in healing energies that help both! The dance may move from the dance floor to the bed, but it goes beyond anything I’ve ever contemplated or heard discussed by others.

I’ve yearned for a partner to explore this level of healing and interaction. I feel I’m ready to hold the container for divine feminine in this way. I’m sure we will both make mistakes along the way, but that is the beautiful part of this journey. It is in the attempt that also brings intimacy, trust and excitement to the relationship between masculine and feminine. It will help both heal the intimacy traumas of the past, but also the multi-generational traumas that resulted due to colonization and a lack of conscious awareness.

It is time for the masculine to start creating containers for the feminine, so that they can both explore a level of healing that goes beyond what any Sacred Heart Circle can do. This is something that we cannot do by ourselves. We need to reconcile our relationships between the two as this must be done together. Time to put away the hierarchy and join together in profound partnership and intimacy balanced between all four aspects of our being. I am open to discussion on these ideas. What do you think and feel about what I’ve shared here?