White Walking Feather rob in the pagé family

The Healing Dance between Masculine and Feminine

Posted on by White Walking Feather

I’ve been contemplating a lot about intimacy and the relationship between the masculine and feminine energies. Recently the men gathered together and we created a simple little ceremony to welcome the women during the last new moon ceremony. What I witnessed was beautiful, powerful and amazing. The ladies became animated, beaming and their movements turned fluid. It had a profound impact on the relationship between the men and women.

I’ve been exploring what intimacy actually is, but this experience has taken me on a whole new level of reflection. A few years ago I discovered that there is a big difference between emotional and physical intimacy. For most of my life I associated both as being one and the same. The problem is that when a woman was looking for emotional intimacy, I struggled because I associated that to sex and that caused all kinds of problems for me. I’m grateful that I was able to overcome that glaring oversight as I now realize that there is a profound difference between the two.

What I see now is that there are multiple kinds of intimacy with a wide range of levels. If we visit the medicine wheel, we are reminded of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. When speaking of physical intimacy, most people turn to sex, kisses or hugs. What I want to propose is that this goes far beyond these simple constructs. If we acknowledge that each body has a form of intimacy, then that compels a deeper examination of each and the interaction between them from all those different levels. The first step is to acknowledge that there are, in fact, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual intimacy needs that need to be met within each of us. Those types of intimacy are very different from one another, yet interact in amazing ways. Physical intimacy starts from birth and involves being held, touched and coddled. This need is equal or even grater than actual sustenance for the baby and this carries forward to be true for our entire lives. Emotional intimacy is something that develops over time as it require our ability to be vulnerable and share feelings with others. Trauma often makes the development of this level of intimacy difficult, but when healed, it can be profound. Mental intimacy is another that needs to be developed and involves the sharing of ideas, brainstorming and other synergistic exercises that foster cooperation and collaboration, equating to mental intimacy. Spiritual intimacy is when we start to explore our own spirituality and find common ground with others and share that level of intimacy in our ceremonies, prayers and beliefs.

The interaction of these different types of intimacy makes for a complex web to explore in all our relationships. It is this depth and diversity that makes life interesting to explore. It is also a core part of the decolonization process as it changes the very foundations of how we interact with one another.

When exploring my relationships, I acknowledge that the level of intimacy changes how vulnerable I will be and there are specific boundaries associated with each. For example, my interaction with a lover is very different than with a tribe member, friend, acquaintance or a stranger. Each one of these can provide a form of intimacy, but there are limits on each depending on trust and ability to reciprocate intimacy in a healthy way.

I may hug a stranger, but I’m not going to kiss them or have sex. A hug with a stranger is also very different than a hug from a friend or a lover. Intimacy needs require engaging in relationships with other individuals. I currently don’t know of any way to have intimacy needs met in isolation. After all, we are social beings and that requires that our needs be met by others in our circles AND that we meet the needs of others within those circles as well.

Finding a way to balance all of these intimacy needs could go a long way towards healing as well. Healing ourselves so that we don’t engage in violent behaviours must be a journey done within. People can hold space for the healing, but it is far too abusive to do this work while in intimate relationships. However, the healing journey stalls when we do that original shadow work as the next phase requires intimate relationships to finish that process.

It is in this light that I explore the dance between the masculine and feminine. Masculine energy is an energy that flows in and out. Feminine energy flows between being open and close. The interesting dynamic is that Masculine energy is also responsible for holding the container as feminine energy is very fluid. These energies can exist within a single individual, but also be a beautiful dynamic between two people.

When the masculine energy does his work properly, he establishes the safe container for the divine feminine. Much like what we did during the camp last week. The result is automatic within a healthy feminine. She feels safe to then express her feminine energy which then starts to be fluid and flow within the contain. She opens up like a flower to express her full beauty and feminine energy. The masculine energy must honour this process and her sovereignty. If everything is done in a healthy and respectful way, she will invite him ‘in’. With consent, he can then penetrate the feminine energy and make a profoundly intimate connection where the two energies begin to flow through each other and create absolute magic. While there are physical sexual references here, this also involves the other forms of intimacy too on an emotional, mental and spiritual level.

For intimate partners, I suspect that the goal is to find a balance between all four levels of intimacy. If the masculine can create a container for all four and feminine feels safe, then all four levels of intimacy are involved and profound healing can take place for both of them. For tribe members and friends, there may be limits to the level of intimacy, but the goal is similar. Sex and kissing may be off limits, but hugs, sacred circles and ceremonies are still a foundational goal for building trusting and deeply intimate relationships within a tribe.

For a stranger we may feel comfortable hugging them, having intellectual conversations about politics, economics, social issues, etc. For a friend or tribe member, the level of intimacy may involve being vulnerable by sharing feelings, fears and shadows while also covering deeper intellectual topics, performing ceremonies and hugging or dancing.

But for an intimate couple, the goal is to be ‘all in’ on all levels. The couple can engage on all those other levels, but their dance is very different. Instead of hugging for 10 seconds or dancing for a few minutes, their relationship becomes very intimate, to the point of melding the two energies together. They may start out in ceremony as their beliefs are common between the two. They agree on many of the same principles that govern how they live their lives. They have found a way to be vulnerable with one another in regards to how they are feeling and the traumas that they are working on healing. When all three of these intimacy needs have been met, the physical intimacy transforms. Their dance is no longer just a dance, but a way of making love to one another, exploring each other’s bodies through movement and music. As they learn how to move together, caress and kiss, the level of intimacy increases beyond acquaintance, beyond friendship. Making love to one another can take hours and is not just a physical act of sex. It requires profound intimacy on all four levels to start engaging in healing energies that help both! The dance may move from the dance floor to the bed, but it goes beyond anything I’ve ever contemplated or heard discussed by others.

I’ve yearned for a partner to explore this level of healing and interaction. I feel I’m ready to hold the container for divine feminine in this way. I’m sure we will both make mistakes along the way, but that is the beautiful part of this journey. It is in the attempt that also brings intimacy, trust and excitement to the relationship between masculine and feminine. It will help both heal the intimacy traumas of the past, but also the multi-generational traumas that resulted due to colonization and a lack of conscious awareness.

It is time for the masculine to start creating containers for the feminine, so that they can both explore a level of healing that goes beyond what any Sacred Heart Circle can do. This is something that we cannot do by ourselves. We need to reconcile our relationships between the two as this must be done together. Time to put away the hierarchy and join together in profound partnership and intimacy balanced between all four aspects of our being. I am open to discussion on these ideas. What do you think and feel about what I’ve shared here?

White Walking Feather rob in the pagé family

Choosing a Path – Part 8

Posted on by White Walking Feather

Our tribe held a full moon ceremony and some significant feelings where shared in that circle. Normally I don’t share what happens in circles, but I asked my dear sister Tammy if she would consent to me sharing what she said. She gave me consent, so I share with you now as what she said is profound and extremely important.

Tammy acknowledged with the tribe that the divine masculine is healing and making profound strides in that journey. She followed up with the statement that she no longer feels afraid. She knows that no matter what happens, she will be provided for and protected.

To hear divine feminine express feelings like this is significant and a testimony to the work that we are doing here with this tribe. A lot of work has been done over the past three months, but I’m confident in suggesting that the tipping point happened when she shared with me that she was going to spend $600 on wood. I immediately thought that it was craziness to do that considering that we live in the middle of the bush. So I read the need that she had and went into the bush and started hauling out fire wood for her. I’m not done, but spending a day doing that meant the WORLD to her, so much so, that she was moved to share her feelings in circle. That in turn was a huge confirmation that I’m doing the right things, holding powerful masculine energy within this space and bridging the gap between masculine and feminine in a healthy way. That was acknowledged by her testimony regarding the healing of the masculine.

I’m confident in suggesting that this would never have happened if we did not engage in purposeful ceremony with specific intent: healing relationships. I’ve been reflecting on why ceremony is so important and I’m starting to realize now the significance of it. Life is busy and when we focus on objectives like building homes, tending gardens, harvesting, etc, we get so caught up in the work that we forget about or get distracted away from what matters most: relationships.

Holding ceremony on a regular basis ensures that we stop everything and submerse ourselves in deep, profound and intimate ceremony to work on our relationships with self, each other, Mother Earth, Creator and all of creation. It is too easy to suggest that the day to day work is more important and to suggest that we will have time later to work on relationships. This is not true. The work done in ceremony is, by far, the most important work we have. Ceremony is sacred work to help us heal, maintain balance, remind us of what is important and sacred in life. It provides everyone with an opportunity to heal and hold space for others to do the same. To honour spirit in such a way brings profound meaning and intent to life here on Mother Earth.

When working with a tribe, it is absolutely critical that ceremony be a central protocol for all involved. Those that don’t embrace the spirit of ceremony and the opportunities presented within those circles will have the most difficult time with the tribe. While tribe work involves supporting and encouraging each member to be as independent as possible, those that take advantage of the tribe will be confronted as it violates the spirit of the tribe as well as divine masculine and feminine energies. The safety net of the tribe comes when we provide support to develop and maintain the independence of ourselves and the other members of the tribe. Tribes are able to support the youth and elders, but not those able to support themselves.

Ceremony helps tribes work through these challenges and decolonize our way of thinking in the process. The colonial way is to pay into a pot and people can then draw from the pot (insurance / limited liability). This results in people living with limited liability, not being 100% responsible for the choices or actions that take in life. Dependency is encourage which then dis-empowers people and forms co-dependent relationships. However, in tribe, we live with full liability, where everyone must accept 100% responsibility and accountability for their life. Independence is encouraged so that inter-independent relationships can be formed. If somebody is dependent, the tribe works to restore independence as quickly as possible. This is our nature. This is the way we are supposed to live.

Ceremony is used to remind us of these truths and provide protocols to support and encourage this way of life. It is not easy and requires hard work, but the rewards are profound. Riches are found the the profoundly intimate relationships that are forged as a result. Intimate relationships on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. This is where true security comes from. What the state and corporations provide is a benefit; there is NO security there. When people gather together within the constructs of our nature and use ceremony and tribal protocols to work and live together, that is when we find security. That is NOT accomplished until divine feminine says that she feels safe and secure.

Divine masculine has a LOT of work to do in order to heal and build that kind of safe container. I know that I’m on the right track because divine feminine is saying she is no longer afraid. She knows her needs are being looked after. Masculine does not have a say in whether his work is good enough or not. Divine feminine has that say and it is best we start to listen to her. Divine feminine is standing up all over the world, screaming at the top of her lungs. It is best that we start listening to her. We do that by entering into sacred ceremonies, doing the work, changing how we live and address these issues at the root. Trauma is that root cause and it is best we heal that trauma so that we can remedy the issues that is confronting us and will destroy us if we don’t get to work soon. Those that refuse to do the work will find themselves facing tough love as unconscious violent colonial ways are not welcome within the tribe. Those that have the WILL and ABILITY to do this shadow work are welcome, but boundaries are firm for those that engage in violence within the tribe. These behaviours threaten the tribe and will be confronted. Creator and Mother Earth are both putting us all through a case of tough love right now. These lessons may feel harsh as death, disease, famine, starvation and other challenges are presenting at this moment. The learning and healing curve is great, but so too are the rewards.

In two weeks we will host the UNGRIP Boot Camp here with this tribe. Ceremony will be a big part of the time spent here. We only have two spots left open for those that want to experience what I speak about in these blog posts. If you want to attend, please let me know quickly as I anticipate these two spots will be filled soon.